i don't like sucking hair
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
