are you still at the devil's house?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
