Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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