y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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