what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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