i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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