Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
