her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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