Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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