Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize