I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
