Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
