im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
