I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When did angry sex become our thing?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize