Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
