I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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