how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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