i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
there is puke in my bra ... again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
