Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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