I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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