Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize