they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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