Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
