My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
