One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
