I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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