I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
