bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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