I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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