I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
