he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We left the knife in your bed.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
be right there i have to get my cape
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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