I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
