Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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