What did we do last night that was yellow?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
