she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
