We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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