I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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