So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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