Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
