Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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