I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
