My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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