2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
and you fell through a lawn chair
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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