i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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