yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
