return my video game
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
