Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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