i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
