sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
