I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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