they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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