I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
