I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
