My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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