I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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