Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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