I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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