mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
