Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
