Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
