South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Every concussion has its silver lining
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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