my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
