You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize