and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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