and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
