There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i was born a porn star she said
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
