# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
