Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize