I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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