Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
