Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
