Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
