you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
im on a boat
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