I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
