Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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