Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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