Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
