..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
