Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
