You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
